TALES OF LIFE

Life is not always as your thought. You may aim here while it aims elsewhere. There are purposes of everything: some are heads, few are tails while many are positionless.

According to a poet, George Herbert, God intentionally Posits pulleies on our ways. They are riches and weariness. Either can draw us close to him.
God has purpose for all he does. That you are rich today does not mean you will remain rich forever. The same is applied to poverty.
As we used to say, “no condition is permanent” this can be when we are not permanent in our lackadaisicality. For condition to be temporal, you have to burn your candles. Work as if the world is getting to an end.

On his view, Professor Chinua Achebe said that the sun shines on those standing before it will shine on squating ones. Though many may be successful, some will succeed before others because they are proactive.

Padding it up, William Shakespeare said that not all that glitter is gold. You may haul to have achieved much only to land at nothing. Not all who brag is rich: A richman does not show up. Never allow yourself to be intimidated by empty cans. They are poised by emptiness.

Advertisements

BE THE BEST OF WHO YOU ARE

Every thing that happens on the earth has reasons. No wonder Eccl 3 says that there is time for every thing. Little can we help to change naturality of the happenings.

Without any poise for doubt, it is evident that men are not the same: some are heads, some are in between head and leg; that is, in the middle, while many are the tails or legs. If you ask me why, who will I ask? If every body must be landlords, who will be tenants? You are complaining because you are not on the apex. Did I hear you say, “why me instead of another person?” That is life for you. Let’s assume you are regretting being a wretch . . . so to say, instead of diving into affluence, who else do you think deserves it? If answer is, “no! But . . .” manage your condition and be the best of who you are.

Meanwhile, naturality and originality are the basis of personality complex. You cannot be yourself and me. So can’t you be yourself and another person. Should you be in the third class of influencial hierarchy, try to achieve popularity from it and see those in the first and second classes longing to be like you. The more you commonize your career, the worst it becomes.
Michael was breeded in a wretched family in Ụmụmba where he left for an urban city, Lagos. He never went with his sizes but hung his bags where his dwarfed hands were unable to fetch them. He went about telling people about his fallacious uncompleted six storeys project. Those who would have helped him to feed mistook him for an affluent guy. He spent fifteen years in Lagos and came empty-handed.

Nkemji is Michael’s younger brother. He boarded to Calabar where he was a wheelbarrow hauler. He wore trousers and shirt but washed them always. Everybody knew he was an orphan.

As nature has it, Nkemji carried a luggage for a man who saw his tattered nature and asked if he was an orphan which he affirmed to. He gave him complimentary card inviting him to his compound.
Getting there, Nkemji was made a manager of steel and iron construction company.

Prior to this, it is better to be the best of who you are.
There is dignity in all labour. Take any menia job and lay down your heart to make it the best.
Shoe making is a lucrative job if embarked by a determined huzzler.

Dream is our problem on earth. That is why many are deceived by prophecies all because they have been having dreams of the prophecied insinuations.
My dear, if you have no bicycle and dream of driving Jeep, it is malaria dream . . . In short, you are suffering cronic typhoid malaria. In this kind of dream, opposite is always the case or it never came to pass at all.
God forbid but whosoever dreams this kind of dream hardly survive hardships of the world.

Foreshow illusion and confront realism. Think your present and little of your future without the past.
Sometimes, the past has great influence to the present and the future. This was because it is the seeds you sowed years past that you are reaping today and will definitely be reaped in future.

Why not use now that your blood is fresh and be a man and stop imagining. Imagination is a friend to hard workers.

For you to come through the epileptic perspectives of the cosmos, ignore nose pokers. If you yearn for their gossips, you will summatively and absolutely visualizing your popular self transcending in coco-filed ingenuity which would end up abrogating your personality criterion via high self esteem dysfunctioning which could finalize catapulting you to successful phobia.

Robbery is a career based on your covenant with God. Are you anxious to know why I inferred God in this? Relax! We believe that evil things are from the devil. Does it mean God cannot create bad thing for purposes? Think of lions and snakes. What good are they to us?
My guy be yourself and stop being indoctrinated.

As I was saying, if you are a robber, rob boldly for God must have purpose for creating you as that. Even from the beginning, there have been spies. They were thieves as well.
Be the best of who you are and stop feigning saintism.

Spare me crucifixion. I did not say you should not try your hands on other things but that it should not be jealously and envious motivated.
The point is that you should maintain originality and not doing because others did.
If you must ignore my advice, be tactic with your success. Turn my advice and I down and let me see a personally debased homo sapien.

I remain yours faithfully, Ezeozuruonye Nwigboji Franklin Opefi.
Always value whatever you do for God has purpose for all the happenings.
I love your undeveloped guts.
Au revoir!

POWER OF HOPE

No up is the highest. The place you are is always common to you while where you are not breeds hopes of ends’ meat.

Have you for once asked yourself why agama lizard tour seasonal migration? It is ridiculous to know that what causes it is vivacious eager for butterfly peg. All days surface with new era of hope all to no avail.
Hope is sine qua non to faith. Without faith, one can hardly achieve anything in life. The same is applied to hope.

A christian without hope is like an autobike without engine.
Hope is a driving force that tosses and catapults you to whom you anticipate to be.

Perseverance is hope’s relative. Whatever you are doing, persist on it with hope and see that you shall attain the peak of your desire. Never think that there is better and leave where you are. Even if you cannot persevere, make the unattained circumstance as your second career and not your doorway.

To be frank with you, what leads to failure is not failure itself but fate. Your fate deteriates in vacuum of hope.
What kills HIV/AIDS’ patient is not the virus but scarcity of hope. A hopeful patient can revitalize her immune system with drugs for sustainable living. But who is hopeless could conclude that all hope is dashed out: as such, no way to Damascus.

Life is precious. In any condition you find yourself, confide in God with the hope that all shall be well.
Thank you for making the best of who you are.

THE BRIDE’S DILEMMA

In a particular community, the bride price is dependent on the number of morsel (ball) of foofoo or garri which the bride (new wife) is able to swallow.

As the new wife sits for the food, her parents tell her to swallow much morsel (ball) of food so that they could accept much money from the groom (new husband).
In the same way, her husband’s people tell her to swallow less morsel of food so that they would pay less price.
If you are to advise the wife, what party should she follow? Her husband and his people by swallowing less morsel? Her parents by swallowing much morsel?

Assume you are an aid to the wife, who would you advise her to obey?
Her parents?
Her husband’s people?
What is your choice if you were the girl to be married?
Give reason for your answer.

Happy weekend!

THE BACHELOR’S HEART

He started from grace to grass searching for perfect sweetheart of no avail.

Abalioma graduated from Abaeke University, Nwanyiapa in flying colours. He was carried shoulder high as a prestigious scholar could be done.

As a first class graduate, Abalioma was employed as director of Nwanyiezuoke alliance refinery, Ogedimkpa where he made his first one million naira.

As they say, dormant money goes to the bank, a lazy man is a gigolo . . . so to say.
An idle mind is a loving mind.
Having toyed with messing money, Abalioma began to squander on girls gallivanting from one quim to another like a seasoning agama lizard. He did not know sweet soup loses its taste the more it is licked.
He had many encounter with many rich girls who to his view were all imperfect. Okenwokeji was one of those he flaunted with.

While with Okenwokeji, Abalioma flaunted with many other noble girls weighing them to choose the best amongst:
With Ndidiamaka, he discovered that her hymen had been broken though she was a sex mistress;
To Akwaeke, he discovered that she was a talkative girl though she could cook and romance;
To Ukwunnu, he discovered that she was too generous such that she shared her quim between him and other men. The same was applied to many other girls.

Beyond any doubt, you are tempted with what you can hardly do without.
As soon as Abalioma resolved to admit poor girls into his heart, all angles were rampant with girls of poor guises. The more he touched, the more he lost the texture. He sent info to the village for his father to marry and send any girl whose intelligence attained the level that she carried books on her head. He spoke in lingua franker which was difficult to his father for interpretation. That was so because he lost his accent and dialect for English language.

As a notorious village man, Nnanwa went out to look for bride for his son.
After five hours from when he was along the road, Nnanwa saw a girl whose books were rested on her head as against other girls who were beautiful without books on their heads. He approached the girl and wooed her for his son.

Having been transfer from Ogedimkpa to another branch of their industry in Lagos, Abalioma relocated to the city where many lucky hawkers shelter in abandoned vehicles and under the bridges. Getting an apartment in Lagos was like Nigeria legalizing homosexualism.
Two years later, Ukwunka was taken to Lagos by Nnanwa for Abalioma.

When Ukwunka got to Lagos, she feigned timidity contrary to her habit of harlotry.
Whenever Abalioma gave money for food, she would spend twenty percent of it thereby buying small piece of meat which was against her husband’s principle. When asked, she said, “we have to economize everything.” The worst was that she fetched pipe borne water for Abalioma against his habitual drinking of sachet water.

As the sun rose and fell, weeks came and gone.
Abalioma had tried everything possible to haul her but Ukwunka avoided him. Rather, she slept in a separate room alone claiming that her mother told her not to have sex with any man that she would be disvirgined.

As Abalioma developed interest in Ukwunka, Tọpẹ whom he was cohabitting with packed out because he seemed to like village than urban girl.

When she got home, Tọpẹ told her NYSC member friend about Abalioma’s trait. She disguised like a poor bread seller and sold near Abalioma’s apartment for him.
Coincidentally, Abalioma was driving out and saw Bọngel on his way. He drove out with and wooed her.

As usual, Ukwunka turned down Abalioma’s request for sex. He vowed to retaliate which he did by inviting Bọngel who sat on his laps.
When Ukwunka came, she saw Bọngel speaking in dunce tone and accent. She was introduced to Bọngel as house help which exploded her head. She was even mandated to welcome Bọngel on her knees which dismantled the linen of her stomach. She yelled, “do you think I’m a fool? I have taken much from you.” She rushed out immediately and packed her luggage out of the house.
Abalioma rushed her for apology which she turned down and told him that she was pretending because she wanted his money, that she was a whore. That protruded Abalioma’s heart and he ushered her out of the house.
He also sent Bọngel away for financial and economical proactivity.

As they say, “a biting dog does not stop yawning,” Abalioma went to Mkpụrụmma who was among those he excommunicated.
As soon as he knocked on her door, Mkpụrụmma banged out.

Still pleading, Lucy, Mkpụrụmma’s house help brought a fruit to her mistress.
Abalioma looked at her breast until Mkpụrụmma discovered and abandoned him into the house. He said, “I inherited this lust: I should have gone for deliverance before coming to her.”

thirty-five years later, Abalioma clutched Eighty without a wife. He sat and saw a charming girl and said, “I wish it were those days: good things surface daily.
My people, no girl without fault; just ignore their shortcomings.”

THE VILLAGE BOY AND HIS PHILOSOPHY: a poem

Joy is no bound
To God my delight,
Love no point,
Felicity for my maker
My trouble the church. 5

Limited are rights
Full of indoctrination,
All said right is dot,
Questions none
During the sermon. 10

All good tones for money,
All tongues for blessings,
No tongue for forgiveness.
All for good hope,
None is willing. 15

Holy are the richmen,
Evil are the poor.
Visits for elephants,
wealth their pockets
But ants’ is suspension. 20

Five offerings and tithe,
Thanks giving and dedications,
First seeds and harvest
All to enrich self
while I get poorer. 25

If I must pay tithe
Which is ten percent,
what for offering,
First seed and harvest?
Am I as wise as serpent? 30

Give it shall be for you,
How much have I accepted
From them?
Who eats the tithe?
Is it God or human? 35

Monkey works,
Baboon eats the fats
When shall it work?
They drive in jeeps
while I lack bicycle. 40

They said I’m lazy
while they usurped all
That I laboured
Under righteous guise
When I was gullible. 45

God is everywhere
Not in churches.
Go there when much
Is there to be wasted.
It’s committee of usurpers. 50

Pray to thy father
Which is in secret; and
Thy father which seeth
In secret shall reward
thee openly. 55

I have great disdain
For churches and
Their pilots.

SUCCESS IN THE FIGHT AGAINST CORRUPTION BY NIGERIA’S PRESIDENT, BUHARI IS DEPENDENT ON THE CALIBRE OF HIS CABINET

Over many years, Nigeria has been under hostage by her enemies who violate her under different guises: Some for popularity and many for selfishness cum personal gains.

Since her creation on 1st October, 1960, the story remained that she lacks personalities to head her affairs.
The story is no more the same as she has crossbreeded with other countries.

The emergence of Muhammadu Buhari as the incumbent president has made the difference.
Those who are billionaires are now on their heels to avoid being implicated. Nigeria is no more a country where personality is measured through how much one has. It is no more a home for corrupt and indiscipline people. This is because Buhari has great disdain for corruption and indiscipline. Those who advertise the number of houses, cars, hotels, estates, etc for popularity are now hiding in their shadows.

It is unbelievable that a talented child can not be successful in company of bad friends.
The ability of Buhari to combat corruption in Nigeria is dependent on who he made his cabinet.

Also, the war against indiscipline is achievable with devoted and willing cabinet.

Nigeria is practising a democratic system of government which makes the president to depend on constitution and approvals from the Federal House of Representatives(FHR) and the Senate.
For any action to be embarked by the president, it must pass through the two houses.
This makes it difficult for a president to attain his anticipated level of development without the quorum of the houses since is goes against the status quo of the tenet of democracy.

If those who are in the houses are not in harmony with the president, his dreamt war against corruption will be unhatched. The head of every parastatal must be those to sing the same song with him before he will fight corruption and indiscipline.

As Nigeria celebrates her 55th indepentence, it is worthy of note that buhari’s government has made great success within hundred days in office and not in hurry for popularity and commendations. It will leave no stone unturn since he is not friend to anybody but friend to every body.
He is not a stomach president as evidenced in his approval of seventy million naira(N70,000 000m) for the 55th independence celebration.
What is being celebrated is not loss but successes so far; ranging from victory over insurgency, militancy, might of the military, robbery, kidnapping, drug trafficking, ebola, polio, guinea worn, and many others.

Happy independence to fellow Nigerians.
Let us support Buhari to fight corruption without considering party affiliations. PDP, APGA, ANPP, AP, APC, AC, etc are political parties while Nigeria remains one. Let us unite and be our brothers’ keeper.
“Peace and unity” is our strength.

Adokiye: Let Boko Haram deflower me and release Chibok girls

http://www.vanguardngr.com/?p=451310

Sometimes we keep wondering why people die at their early 20s. It is not hand-stretching to decipher that goodwills from God are turned against him.
Instead of adoring God for exalting us, what we do is allowing his blessings to explode in our heads.
What a shame!

It is ridiculous and taming.
An alleged virgin reportedly promised to give access to the Boko Haram terrorists to deflower (disvirgin) or have sex with her and free 219 abducted Chibok school girls.

1. Should she be said to be caring?
2. Do you think she is a virgin as she reportedly purported?
3. What reward do you think she hopes to get contrary to her private jet for her mother as condition for deflowering her?

The world is a domain where popularity is achieved through indecency and waywardness and celebrated with the accomplices as celebrities.

God! please, sanitize the world and exalt the just and the righteous in Jesus name.

REGRETFUL CARE

A man went to Abuja after staying idle at home without an aid.

In Abuja, toilet facilities are absolutely awesome.
The crux is that the facilities are akin to village recreational facilities.

When the old man got to his son’s mansion in Abuja, he was welcomed by oozing air from the air conditioner in the room. The first thing that came to his mouth was, “Amadioha! Ndia anwa m.” (Amadioha! These people have tempted me). Amadioha is name of a god.
He immediately took a cola from his goal-skin-bag and made some ritual.

It was not too long when he was pressed. He told his son to take him to toilet so that he would defaecate. His son took him to a water closet to his dismay.
Having been engulfed my village principle that an evil sick person defaecates in houses, the old man said, “So you have been wishing death to me? I’m going back to the village now not tomorrow”.

When they got to village, the old man summoned elders. His son was fined two goats,enough food and win for threatening his father.

Aside

THE PANIC OF GROWING OLD AND ADVENT OF VIRGIN PERIOD

There were days when we used to obey our parents like men do to God today.
Those days, our mothers and fathers were our visible gods.

Once upon a time, my mother called and told me that I should go to the toilet that she was watching me. I used to go because I knew she had nothing bad against me. My love for her was an ultimate one because she cared for me much.

It was not easy however but I enjoyed her company. One day, mother called, “Opefi” as I was traditionally called. I responded only to hear from her, “there is a woman in the moon”. She added, “the woman was hardworking which made God to capture her to the moon”. She mandated me to look at the moon which I did wholeheartedly.
Looking there, I saw a woman piercing firewood with an axe in her hands. She said, “God likes hardworking people. If you want to be close to God, try and work hard”. I nodded my head in affirmation.

Two days later, Mother told me that she is mother and everything to me as a child. I asked her, “why?” She told me that it was because her mother loved and cared for her. And that she must make sure she taught me the right values.
I went with her to where she kept her portrait . . . Haba, mum was actually beautiful. She asked me if I saw the portrait which I affirmed to. She told me that I was her image and was going to get old like her.
As a child, I asked, “mum, what should I do to remain young?” She laughed and told me, “the only solution is for you to marry a good wife like me”. I was too inquisitive to ask, “why?” She told me, “good wife is good life”.

Children were funny those days. I proposed to my mum which she accepted with the condition that I must promise to forgive all the girls that offended me and those to offend me in future . . . to God, that was very difficult to me because there was a girl, Amarachi who pushed me down one day when I went with mum to a prayerground in the name of a prayer warrior. I slept over since I was already dozing before she put her hand on my head and waged me with her leg. An attempt to avoid her forced me down by her waging leg. I swore never to forgive her. My love for my mum made me to accept her condition.

When she discovered that I was mean, mum told me that she was the only wife married by my father and cannot continue like that with me. She said that I must marry another wife to be assisting her. I told her that I was afraid of getting old. She promised to keep me young as the first wife in my house.
My next question was, “who should I marry?” She told me, “since you want to remain young, you should get married to your neighbour who you know very well”. She added, “you should not allow your eyes to deceive you; good wife does not ask money from her man but asks why he is not happy”. She looked askance and said, “short girls are wicked because they struggle for recognition. If you offend them, they will feel marginalized thereby being proactive in response. My second husband, marry a tall slim girl for she not only forgives, but has low libido for sex”.
I replied, “mum, thank you but you are funny. Though one may have high libido for sex, he can not change it. I am a boy and must remain one despite my ego for girl”. She wailed until her heart wanted to crack.

Five years later, my mum told me to respect my father despite what he must have done against me, that he was my first father-in-law. That sounded funny but I ignored her. “My problem is how I should go near my father when he has great disdain for me . . . Perhaps, he may butcher me the way he threatened the other day”, I told her. She said, “blood is blood, your father said so because he is a fanatic who wants his male children to stay away from their mother”.

When I got to my father the next day, he was extremely happy. He called me, “Nna nwunye m” which means ‘my father-in-law’ because I was named after my maternal grandfather, “boys are not good to stay with women. It is lazy boys that spend their time gossiping with women in the hot and kitchen”.
I was not abashed because mum had already told me about my autocratic father who was fanatic in his words.

At eleventh, I was admitted into primary one.
As I was going to school one early morning as usual, mum told me, “father,” for I am her father’s sake. “study Inglash very well”. I was not surprised that she pronounced English that way because she did not receive formal education. She had one day told me, “I heard that chalk fell from one teacher’s hand and broke his leg which later led to his death”. This was fallacious to me. She went on, “always stay far from your teacher so that it won’t fall and kill you”. I responded, “oh mama”.
How could I have blamed her when she had not seen chalk for the first time.

With all those piece of advice, I love mum, Beaty and my to-be mum-in-law, Comfor.
Mums, you’re great!
Nneka — mother is precious!!
I love both of you and my to-be third wife, Angel Godspromise.

Do you think my mum was a bad mother?